


With and Around You

by genderless_bean



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: And that one too, Angst, Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff, Harry Styles Calls Louis Tomlinson Pet Names, Louis Tomlinson Calls Harry Styles Pet Names, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Well its fluffy angst, ive always wanted to use that tag, they actually talk about their problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25839832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderless_bean/pseuds/genderless_bean
Summary: “I see you doing all these things but I’m not really apart of it. It feels more like I’m watching a video or I’m imaging it. Some days when it hits me extra hard I have this overwhelming feeling of missing you.” Harry stops again to shift them closer and looks Louis right in the eyes. “Now that I’m thinking about it I guess it’s fair because in order to not miss you I’d need to be with you.” He whispers that part like it’s hard to say out loud.~This was inspired but the lovely song Vocal Rest by Aislinn Davis on Youtube so thank you for helping me get my creativity flowing! xoxo
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 75





	With and Around You

**Author's Note:**

> First thing I've posted on here yay hello! Ok so this was written in about two hours at one in the morning but I hope you like it because I'm rather proud I finally finished a work. Thank you to my friend Axel (@axelevensen_ on twitter) for editing this for me and my lovely Seychelle (@happilyfalling on twitter) for being really supportive of my writing!

~

They had a day off today. It was nice messing around with the lads; they even got to go on a bit of sightseeing, which was a welcome surprise. There will be a show tomorrow, so everyone was determined to have a good night's sleep, a rarity. Now, at about 10:30, Louis was brushing his teeth in a hotel sink, listening to the water run.

He could tell Harry was in a mood — not a bad one necessarily, but throughout the day he seemed to be a little more in his head than usual. After Louis had brushed his teeth long enough to please his mum he left the bathroom and was met with Harry, just getting in bed. He had just boxers on, and his hair was a bit of a mess as if he’d been running his hands through it. He laid on his stomach, hugging the pillow to his face, making an effort to avoid the gap in their makeshift full bed.

Harry either didn’t notice Louis watching him move or he just didn’t care, as he contently lay there. Taking a moment to admire the scene before him, Louis started to move again. He shut the overhead lights off and filled the room with darkness for a moment before he turned on the bedside lights, creating a soft orange glow over the bed. 

Slowly opening his eyes, Harry watched with intrigue as Louis stripped down to his boxers. After tossing his shirt in the general direction of his suitcase, Louis crawled under the white covers. There was a silence for a moment, just the two of them watching each other before Louis moved to Harry to draw him closer by the waist.

“Louis, the gap,” giggles Harry slightly.

Louis responds by rolling his eyes and wrapping his arms around Harry’s hips. “Haz, if we aren’t gonna cuddle then why did we spend all that time pushing these beds together?” 

“Didn’t say no to the cuddles, just don’t want to fall in the middle,” Harry whispers, pushing his head in Louis’ neck.

Louis hums in understanding while nuzzling his head into Harry’s hair. The moment stilled, the room quiet as the two breathed each other in. Louis notices how Harry still feels different. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew this boy better than almost anyone else in his life; something had shifted a bit.

“Love, how are you feeling?” he gently whispers in Harry’s ear.

Harry adjusts his position from Louis’ neck to the pillow. “What do you mean?” 

Louis thinks a moment, not really sure what to say. “I just wanted to check up on you.”

Harry blushes slightly, a light dusting of pink in his cheeks and the tip of his nose. “Yeah, I’m fine, just been missing you.”

Louis looked on a bit puzzled. “I’ve been with you all day babes,” he says, bringing Harry a bit closer.

“I know that; I don’t really know how to explain it honestly. Sometimes I get this feeling of missing you even though you’re right there,” Harry tried to explain, laughing at himself as if he thought he sounded ridiculous.

Louis runs his hands up Harry’s waist, slowing moving up his arm and ending in his hair, scratching his head a bit. “Can you try to explain it to me?”

Harry looks over Louis’ head, biting his lip searching for the right words. “I’m around you all the time, we see each other every day. I get to listen to you speak and watch you move. I get to enjoy your laugh and feel your energy in the room. But I don’t get to be with you.” He paused for a moment, eyes becoming a bit heavy.

Louis feels it too — a morose twinge not entirely different from sadness. He presses a gentle kiss to Harry’s head, staying there a beat to show he understands.

“I see you doing all these things, but I’m not really a part of it. It feels more like I’m watching a video or I’m imaging it. Some days when it hits me extra hard I have this overwhelming feeling of missing you.” Harry stops again to shift them closer and looks Louis directly in the eyes. “Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess it’s fair because in order to not miss you I’d need to be with you,” he sighed, admitting the sad unspoken truth.

Louis stares back into those emerald green eyes he loves so much and thinks. He’s suddenly hit with the knowledge that he understands what Harry’s saying, he feels it slowly moving through him. He feels it too. All the time, just couldn’t think of what to call it.

They’ve been told — trained — to stay away from each other. It’s been drilled into their heads, so it only makes sense the habit has leaked into other parts of their lives. Nothing has changed when it comes to just them; they cuddle up and share kisses any chance they get. 

It’s only when surrounded by people the shift is visible. Even around the boys they automatically move away from each other, they stay away. Louis hadn’t noticed it till now. When they go home to their families they keep up the habit — it’s a little better there, but they still seem to subconsciously keep it strictly friendly. Today going round with the boys and seeing as much as they could, Louis doesn’t really remember being with Harry, at least not in the way that comes so naturally to them.

Louis is pulled from his realization by Harry’s nose brushing against his. “Lou, you ok?”

“Sorry was just thinking about what you said, you kinda just hit me in the face with reality, Hazza.” Louis laughs a little wetly.

Harry responds by rubbing a hand up and down Louis back. “Tell me what you’re thinking darling.” He breaths.

“Why haven’t you mentioned this to me before?” Louis sighs as he rests their foreheads together.

“I felt silly, you can’t miss someone who’s in the same room as you,” Harry says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yes, you can.” Louis rushes out quietly, offended by the insinuation.

Harry blinks, eyes going glassy. “Yeah?”

“I miss you almost every day, I just didn’t know that’s what it was.” Louis smiles softly, running his finger down Harry’s nose.

“I wish I could be with you all the time,” Harry whispers painfully.

Louis moves forward, kissing Harry’s lips. “I long for you.”

Harry’s breath hitches at the words. He moves one hand around Louis’ neck and presses a wide palm against his chest. “It drives me crazy watching you experience things and not sharing it with you,” he says, blinking back the tears beginning to brim in his eyes.

Louis squeezes Harry for a moment and tangles their legs together. “We still get to do so many things together, we still share so much together. You’re the love of my life, the most important person in my life. I’d do anything for you. Sometimes I have to do things I don’t want to do, but at the end of the day it will get us to a point where we can do loads of things together and tell the world about it.”

Louis listens to Harry breath as it feels like time stops. His words mixing with the orange flow filling the room.

Harry suddenly kisses Louis hard, pouring all his love into it. “One day everyone will know I’m with you. One day I’ll only have to miss you when you aren’t around.” 

They smile at each other, daydreaming about it, how it would feel to love each other without worrying about what the world thinks. “Feel better now love?” Louis says with a breathy laugh.

“Yeah I do,” Harry replies with a similar giggle, “you always make me feel better.” 

Louis kisses his cheek before turning over to shut the lamp off blanketing them in the soft darkness. “That’s what I’m here for,” he says with a smile as he pulls Harry to his chest.

“That’s what I’m here for too,” Harry says, muffled by Louis’ skin.

“That’s love isn’t it?” Louis whispers as he combs through Harry’s curls.

“Love’s a lot of things.” He replies, keeping his face pressed against Louis’ chest.

“Love is you,” Louis breathes gently, already starting to drift off.

“You sap.” Harry giggles quietly. 

They both start to move into sleep while listening to the hotel airconditioning turn on and the distant sound of people walking past their room, but as they start to dream all they feel is each other. 

~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! My twitter is @genderless_bean if you'd like to follow me. Feel free to let me know what you think (be nice please I'm sensitive) xoxo


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